Feathering the Nest

Transfer Day is finally here! I barely slept at all last night. I've never identified myself as an anxious person - nor one that stresses. However the eve of the Transfer Day brought a new level of thoughts whirling around in my head. The outcome of the transfer is a tremendous crossroad of my life, Anthony and Jillian's life, as well as this new life waiting to come into this world.

Per usual CCRM gave us a set of strict rules to follow for the day of transfer. One of those rules was to drink 16-24 oz of water about an hour prior to transfer in order to plump up my bladder to visualize my uterus better on the ultrasound. I was escorted to the transfer room by an MA who recorded exactly how many ounces I drank. "Umm... I think about 20?" "Ok good -- do you feel like you could pee if I asked you to?" "Well...no actually." "Ok well I need you to keep drinking more water then." She promptly left and I drank another half of a water bottle - now physically aware of the fullness of my bladder. Then I started getting uncomfortable -- like I was a sneeze away from wetting the bed. Kylie went to ask if I could let off some pressure and they quickly shut her down, "She needs to wait to be cleared by the ultrasound -- then we will decide if she is too full or not." Being rascally nurses - we created a make-shift diaper out of chux and I went "two mississipis" and got rid of the evidence. The ultrasound tech came in to check my bladder and it looked "perfect" -- I still had so much pressure and was so uncomfortable. "Please...I feel like I'm going to burst." "Nope -- just a little longer -- you'll be fine." Five minutes later -- in walks Dr. G. who reviewed the embryo quality and final verbal consents. All my mind could focus on was the tremendous pressure and feeling I was going to pee all over the place. Dr. G. wrapped up with "feeling nice and full? You aren't going to pee on me are you?" "I just might" I added through gritted teeth. He laughed it off -- got the instruments ready -- and as soon as the speculum went in -- I felt incredible relief. Then it dawned on me that -- oopsie daisy -- I did in fact pee all over the place. The procedure was immediately stopped. My mortified self made it to the bathroom and was given a dixie cup to empty into: "Only fill up to here." Have you ever tried to measure out half a dixie cup in urine while you're in utter agony? I ended up peeing so forcefully that it knocked the cup out of my hand and into the toilet. I had to stand up to cut off my supply. I went back -- tail between my legs and finished the procedure.

Embarrassment aside -- The procedure itself is pretty awesome. The embryo is wheeled into the room in it's private incubator.

And the embryo is magnified on the monitor to see the quality. This is a day 5 blastocyst that has started to hatch. And they let us know the gender.....shhhhh....it's a secret!

The embryo is then loaded into a soft catheter and then guided into the cervix. The placement is visualized on an ultrasound to place the embryo in the most ideal location. The big black spot on top is my STILL very full bladder -- the oval shadow portion underneath is my uterus and the glowing white dot in the center is the landmark for where the embryo was placed.

After transfer - I was put in a reverse incline for about an hour and then was released. I've been relaxing the remainder of the day. Card games....music....Sex and the City marathon...snacks... I'm only allowed to get up and go to the bathroom and go back to bed. So this will be a great time to practice my patience. It's so odd to have people taking care of me -- since my whole life has been devoted to being on the other side of it all. But I'm slowly allowing it to sink in -- that this is my job for the next few days. So here I'll lay -- gestating away -- and sending good vibes to the little one inside.